I really love being a mom to Calvin. I hoped so much that I would get bored with maternity leave and that I'd be one of those women who just can't wait to get back to work. Wish not granted. The thought of trading our days together for the fluorescent lights of a depressing office makes me want to cry just as hard as he does at 8:30 every night. If only we could live off of Jeremy's paycheck.
The most annoying thing about motherhood is dealing with "help". I spend all day with my son getting to know his routine and moods. If he's upset after all the normal upset-baby troubleshooting (diaper, hungry, gas, tired) someone else says "oh, give him to me sounds like you need a break", it's insulting. I usually give in so that they can feel like they're helping but I'm just fuming on the inside, ready to punch the next person who makes me feel like an inadequate mother.
I'm laying out in the living room listening to the creak of his swing, pleased that he is getting the sleep he needs. I know in just a few hours I'll be awake for his 2:00 feeding but just being here with him is more important to me than sleep right now.
Anyhoo, this is a blog about running. Our next run is on Saturday morning, with a bunch of other moms. The run benefits our local La Leche League chapter, an organization that gives free support to breastfeeding moms. I'd like to say I'm trotting the 5k, but being only 5 weeks post c-section, I have been talked into just walking the mile.
I want to do more and I need to do more if I'm going to lose this last 20-ish pounds of baby blubber. But maybe doing these little bits will help me fit into my first trimester clothes before I have to go back to work.
